I'm really upset and frustrated right now. This summer has been really hard on me because I have no friends in my home area. I was unable to get a job. I've had nothing to do and no one to hang out with. My boyfriend is states away. And I got really down. The only one who I've been talking to is my boyfriend and now that's going crazy.

I've been really bothered by the fact that he's had sex with his ex, and he's still friends with her. She is in his town this week. And I started freaking out to an extreme when he went over the other night... how that happened is a long story but to bring it short now I've been forced to tell him he had to leave. Which makes me feel like I'm a horrible person. He says she's not worth it now... after hours and hours of talking on the phone and that he'll avoid talking to her but I feel horrible.

I feel like i have nothing to give the relationship. I've fallen apart in almost all ways this summer. I'm an empty husk with nothing left in it. Even his ex... despite some things that both me and him dont like about her is imaginitive.. fun to be with. And i just feel like this big fat blob that just causes everyone trouble.

just don't know what to do anymore -.- I dont even want anything. Not to do anything. I just want everything to stop. everyone to go away. and me to just stop being. I don't even have anything I like to do anymore