sometimes posting onine is helpful because you dont have to look people in the face. I dont know if this is applicable to you.. sometimes it's that to talk to someone about it you have to admit it more. Typing and posting annonymously, is easier at least for me.

For me... having people I care about know about my problems is scary because I dont know how theyll react. If I can't accept something... how could I expect my any of my friends to? And their opinion means a lot.

Try to find someone you can talk to about it if you can. Talking really does help. It took me a long while to open about my problems to ANYONE... talking doesnt always help but... in the long run it's a good thing.

I hate feeling the need for physical pain. It doesnt make sense but it's that feeling of NEEDING it to happen. Just keep trying to avoid it as best you can. Don't give up. Try other types of pain that wont put lasting damage on your body.
Or, I'm not sure wha tyou're saying... can you not feel the pain? Is it more about seeing the mark on your body?

Maybe when you start to thinking of hurting yourself, find some activity to express the pain first, or at the same time? I don't know...... if i did wouldnt have troubles either but ya xD