Pink, Intresting topic. I had to think about when I first felt different. To be honest the first 5yrs of my life I kinda of dont have much emotional memory. For it started when I was told my mum wasn't my mum and that had a big effect on how I saw myself compared to other children. From that moment I felt very different and sort of left my body and was forever watching myself...The sick verses healthy thing, well its odd but i went to the theatre a couple of days ago with one of my daughters and before when in a big crowd I would be very aware of myself as a dysfuctional person..but I was watching the mass of heads around and below me and I felt for the first time like I was one of them...I was a humanbeing with all my flaws, I didn' t feel as my "illness" seperated me anymore and I saw myself as a humanbeing with human flaws where as before I kinda of thought of myself as sort of well "special" and that no one suffered like I do and that sorta of kept me apart...I also use to feel as if I was not good enought for my husband and he was so "sorted" and I wasn't..well thats all changed...as I've begun to heal I see his flaws too now, and I see that there are very few people that do not have flaws, but obviously its the degree that changes...my view on mental illness has changed as well...I use to think it was somethign you either had or didnt have..now I see it as levels of emotional growth and on an adult who isn't at there approprate emtional age it does look "sick"..but its not really not like a disease such as measles or such...I think it was shame that kept me using my labels? that way I had an explaination that was acceptable to me for my wayward behaviour....now instead of wondering why my husband could stick with me, I think, well why wouldn't he?...so where do I belong now? amongst the human race with all its flaws and levels of emotional growth.