Hi Turquoisesea;
So sorry that you feel the way you do, but you are worth a million and have a lot to give. I think I would feel the same way as you do, no I know I would feel the same way you do, my husband has been married before and had a friend he had relations with, and if he was friends with them now, I know I would have trust issues, so I don't think your a horrible person. My counselor suggested that maybe I could do volunteer work if I couldn't find a job to help, maybe that is something you could do, to make you feel better.

Hope you feel better soon and that everything good happens for you.