i think that positive should be the focus here. having said that, how can we know when to be positive and supportive if we don't hear the negative? we have to know who needs support and why, even tho it's not easy to hear sometimes

having said that, i think any positive, supportive statements should not be negated. i think in working on self esteem we should learn to graciously accept support and compliments instead of arguing with them and making the supporter feel badly. i think that's part of the healing. whether we feel the compliments and support are "true" or not, we should accept it at face value because we can't assume to be inside of another's head...i would never want to tell someone they weren't being truthful with me because of my own illness. that hurts