countrymusicgurl, I can't totally relate to what you are going through but I can identify with some of your feelings. I too was looked down upon and whispered about...that takes a toll on your self esteem and pride. I am not sure my way of dealing with it was the best, but I tried, as hard as I could to hold my head up high and keep moving forward. I told myself their comments did not matter, but they still hurt me. Somehow, I saw through the pain and came through to the other side...a side where I accept myself and sometimes even love myself. It is not easy and I really do feel for you. I wish I had some advice on how to "fix" your situation, but those people will always be there...doing what they do...I just had to do my best to keep my self worth and pride intact. Now, I look at those people and I realize I am the one that is much further down the road...they are still stuck in their pettiness and their hate...I have moved beyond that to a much brighter world. Hang in there my friend--you can make it through this.