missboots

That was a lot of condensed and really important information you posted, and I'm glad you did. I think there's lots of people out there who read this forum and have similar issues that they are struggling with.

My first thought is that one of the reasons this therapist doesn't know how to make you feel comfortable is because she is a child therapist, and I would think it's never a good idea for an adult to see a child therapist. I'm sure it was a huge reason that you didn't feel like you could open up with her, and it seems that maybe she doesn't know how to deal with complicated adult issues (hence the insensitive dog comment). She doesn't deal with complicated adult therapy issues because it isn't her specialty. Your son should see his own child therapist, and you should see a therapist who only works with adults.That said, I wouldn't throw in the towel on all therapists due to your experience with this one wasn't a good match. It's obvious to even the therapist herself who said that she felt you needed to see an adult. This therapist should NEVER have taken you on as a patient, and it seems only after the damage was done that the therapists seems to realize that she made an error in taking in an adult with complicated adult issues. I hope she never does that again. I wouldn't go to a pediatrician if I had a health problem; the same concept applies here.

I would also like to challenge your erroneous belief that because your therapist went to Harvard she is a good therapist. This sort of thinking simultaneously implies that because therapy wasn't working, it must be YOUR FAULT; since that's obviously not the case based on what I said above, and also on the fact that therapists from universities across the nation and abroad successfully treat patients with the same type of traumas you have, we know that the school label has nothing to do with it.

Most therapists in the world never went to Harvard, and there are some pretty top notch therapists out there without an Ivy League education. In fact, I think the Princeton Review said that the University of Iowa was rated one of the highest doctorate degree programs (if not the highest) in the US. Likewise, I have no idea why you thought that your therapist's child being a football player and her husband being "successful" in some way has anything to do with how well she conducts therapy. You aren't seeing her football player son or her allegedly successful husband for therapy, so even if they are good at what they do it has no bearing on your therapists ability.

If it was me, I would probably go to the next session as planned, and tell the therapist what you told us here. She needs to here this so that she can learn what she did wrong so that she doesn't do it to anyone else in the future. I also think that after that session that you never return to her again, and you should start making a list of what therapists are available in your area and start gathering referrals from people you trust. I learned about my therapist because two of my friends had seen my therapist for similar issues, and they both had success with him. If you don't have a friend who can give you a good referral, I would then ask your primary care doctor or psychiatrist. The other option is to go to the
American Psychological Association state resource page here, choose your state, and look up the psychologists listed. I would also look up their licenses for any disciplinary info.

I really hope you don't give up trying to help yourself overcome your trauma. I've gone to a different therapist before my current one that didn't work out, so I left her and found a different one. I think you just need the right person too. Come back and let us know.