I am really bad at identifying my emotions. T thinks I have a lot of anger - both from things that were done to me in the past, and things in my current life situation right now. I don't DO anger. I don't GET angry. I keep telling him that - but I know that he believes that the swirl of "BAD" that I feel is really not anxiety, or stress, or whatever. It's anger.

When I have that bad, stressed (whatever) feeling, is when I want to cut. Or turn to one of my other bad coping mechanisms.

Today - I realize I AM angry. I'm really angry. A few things have happened in the pas 24 hours that have just pissed me off. I recognize this feeling - it IS the bad feeling that usually makes me cut - but now I think I know what it is. So, in a way that seems like progress. But on the other hand - what do I do now?

I want to cut. I want to, want to, want to. I know it will make this feeling go away. But even I get it - why do I want to cut myself, if I'm angry at other people? I can see that it makes no sense.

I don't know what to do instead. I e-mailed T, and called him, and asked for some sort of response, even though I don't usually ask for a response on the weekend. I'm typing this. I'm cleaning the house for my youngest son's birthday party this afternoon. I tried hitting the heavy bag in the basement, but I really hurt my wrist, so now that's out.

What can I DO instead of cutting? Do I just have to ride this feeling out?