((earthmama))

I could write volumes about my conversations with T about weekend phone calls. OMG we have had SESSIONS about it. It is such a difficult topic and one that I think you should clarify with T as much as possible. Now, T calls me if I request him to no matter what day it is but he prefers I don't ask for a return call on the weekend unless it's an emergency. So I respect his boundaries.

One thing I do occasionally if I'm really in a jam is call and ask for a half phone session. If he can, he accommodates me and we talk for about 25 minutes or a half hour. Then I pay him a half session fee. It feels okay to do this, and neither of us feel like our boundaries are being trampled. I get the amount of time and comfort I need rather than a brief 5 minute phone call, that doesn't quite meet my needs.

It is painful to need someone and feel as though they aren't there. But he IS there. He is in your heart. I don't know about you but when I feel like I really need him it hurts so much. I think this is because we are afraid to be with ourselves. We don't feel
safe alone.

So, can you imagine yourself sitting with him and playing Uno? Maybe you can conjure him up that way. Also, if you are really in trouble, leave another message and be very clear about the fact that even though it's Sunday, you really need him to call you.

I think you should get out of the house if possible. Go shopping (window shopping if you are broke). Go for a walk. Take a yoga class. Best bet would be to get out with a friend. Screw cleaning, it's overrated, and solitary.

(((earthmama)))