Thanks for your reply.

I got involved in some really dreadful things but really I had no choice in the matter. If I'd said, 'No, sorry but I don't want to do that...' things could have been even worse. Not sure that's possible!

The thing is I am totally %#@&#! because all of my emotions are at a child level. People don't understand that, and trying to be 'normal' doesn't work either. The only people that happen to understand me are mental health professionals, well whoopie doo for that! But it also means I can't ever really be accepted by society, I can't get a job and I find it difficult to explain to anyone why I am the way I am.

I was shoved away in a dark place over and over, maybe that is what I deserve.