YouOme...I understand how you're feeling..I really do, so I'm not going to preach to you. But...first...this lover of yours has nothing to offer you, except maybe some temporary escape. Could he offer you a safe and comfortable home, a place to take care of your children? It doesn't sound like it, and you can't leave your children, can you?

Yes, you are alone, at least in your own thoughts and recovery right now. You do need sleep and rest. I hope you can do this while assuring your children that you are there for them.

It is my rather cynical opinion that much of what we do, especially while young and of child-bearing age, is the primal drive of pair-bonding, which is biological, accompanied by the desire for passion. The "forbidden fruit" is even more addictive and attractive, hard to get over. You've engaged in relations with your best friend's husband. Not much more forbidden than that.

Time to "man-up" or "woman-up" and take a deep breath.
Patty