i guess you all can see my other posts if you want for a recap on things.... in short my wife has BPD (fast switching).... and the last year has resembled the 7th circle of hell so much i don't know if i can stay with it much longer....

she undermines me infront of the kids.... especially when i am trying to discipline them.....

she has no respect for any of my personal space.... or privacy (yes i know that when you are married that you lose some privacy - but not ALL of it)

she's chased my friends away

she's sent revealing pics of herself through the email to other men....

and just yesterday she was fired from her job because her boss's wife gave him an ultimatum.... fire my wife or loose everything he has due to an apparent relationship he had/was having with my wife.....

ultimately i have never felt so completely worthless/angry/upset/hurt in my entire life. my work life has gone to crap since i am slowly loosing the work/home filter (keeping home at home and work at work is becoming almost impossible).....

i need to move.... but i am in the army.... i would like to get out as soon as possible.....i have only 20 months left. but moving would mean i would have to commit to more time..... and i really don't want to stay in the area if i do separate....... ugh.....

she is practically begging me to stay.... and honestly i have so little fight left in me that staying just sounds easier (although in the end i know it won't be). Staying means living with an elephant in the room. Staying means waking up next ot someone i can barely stand who says she 'loves' me... but surely doesn't act like it.

and whats worse...... i have never felt like less of a man EVER. in fact even when i read this i am ashamed that i have become such a weakling.... that i can't even find the gumption to do 'the right thing' which would be take care of myself first..... sigh....