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desertnurse1977 said:
ultimately i have never felt so completely worthless/angry/upset/hurt in my entire life. ...i have never felt like less of a man EVER.

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I know that feeling, desertnurse, and I've never experienced anything worse in my life. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this - it's something no one deserves.

Don't let yourself fall into too deep of a hole, okay?