Hm. This is very interesting, especially the comment about lying about "stupid stuff".

I'm going to try to be honest about this, but keep in mind I have no idea if this is a guy thing or just a me thing, so...

Sometimes I find myself lying about stupid, inconsequential stuff. It's not premeditated, nothing I thought about or planned ahead of time. It's difficult afterwards to figure out why I did it, especially when a lie about something small becomes a big problem or arguement, much bigger than telling the truth would've been.

Here's an example: I was supposed to return some books to the library to avoid a late fee, but I forgot and it didn't get done. Trivial, right? I have a horrible memory, so things like this are pretty common. So when my wife asked me about it, in a split-second half-thought, almost without thinking about it, I say yes, I returned the books. Later, when she discovered the books weren't returned she became upset, saying that if I can lie about something this small how could she believe I wouldn't lie about the big stuff?

Yes, it's stupid and it's dumb. I admit it. Sometimes the words fly out of my mouth almost without thinking about it first. Afterwards I've tried to understand why I do it, and here's the best summary of that split-second I can come up with:

"I'm embarassed, disappointed and frustrated in myself for forgetting a simple task. I don't like feeling stupid, and I don't like the person I love thinking less of me or getting mad at me. I'll make sure and return the books later this afternoon, so what's the harm in a little white lie to cover up my mistake? It doesn't hurt anyone."

Again, this is the thought that blazes through the synapses in that 1/100 of a second. And again, it's dumb-as$ behaviour, and I've gotten much better at putting the brakes on my mouth and thinking before I speak. But my wife was wrong about one thing - small lies uncovered doesn't necessarily mean bigger lies are hidden. I'ts like apples and oranges - two completely different things.

Does that help?