Jinnyann,

You're not silly! Feelings just are what they are. It gets so painful and complicated when your Mom is an abuser.

Mom's are supposed to keep us safe and when they do bad stuff to us, it really messes with our minds and hearts. It's really hard to even say how bad it hurts us.

For a long time I was too close to my Mom, until some memories came back more clear and then I was so angry with her. She did things that still limit me to this day and she's been dead for years.

I'm sorry she hurt you and i'm sorry she was unsafe. Its not your fault and you are not bad.

I did learn to forgive my mom and it helped me a lot, but it took time. I even realized she went through some of the same things she put me through. She was so messed up. It doesn't excuse her bad, but it helped me forgive.

If you don't want to send her a card this year, its ok. Mom's aren't supposed to hurt their children. For now, just take care of yourself and get through this week.

HUGS Jinnyann,

Leslieann and pixies