((((((((((((((((((((multipixie/leslieann)))))))))))))))))))

thankyou for you kind reply. I am very low today. I kind of feel so sorry for my mum these days, the anger is subsiding and is being replaced by pity i think. She has always been a very selfish person, narcissistic, loves to put others down so she feels better about herself. Underneath she doesn't like herself very much. The thing is, I'm still in contact with a friend of mums, well, ex friend who my mum abandoned after 45 years just because she went to a wedding and mum didn't want her to go .... (long story) this friend says she will never change and that nothing will ever be right for my mum as she is that kind of person. This friend has cancer and part of me wants to let mum know. Part of me wants to send a card but i think she would just rip it up anyway when i told her i wanted her out of my life all the cards she'd saved that I had sent her were set back to me. I'm scared of the rejection. That probably sounds pathetic, but ...i'm rambling, sorry she's missing out on her grandchildren. My dad never comes to see them either.

Sometimes it hurts. It's like they're treating my kids the way I was treated as a child ..... history repeating itself ..... i broke the abusive chain by protecting and loving my children, but it makes it worse knowing how much i love mine, how could they be so cruel, and i have to stop now.

Jinny