It means so much to me when i receive your replies.Makes me feel i am not alone and you understand .... Zo i feel my parents have not been very good to my kids really. Dad never comes to see us or very rarely, he asks how they are but never even said well done to my daughter when she was accepted into university unconditionally. Mum has chosen not to sort all this mess out and cut herself off from us all, when i broke ties i said we could work it out if she stopped the denial and started to validate my feelings. She sent me a horrible letter saying she was going to smother me and then kill herself when i was a baby .... my daughter wrote to her saying she didn't want to be in touch anymore (nothing to do with me i would never stop the kids seeing their grandparents) mum wrote back to me and blamed me, sent all my cards back that I'd sent to her through the years and more or less blamed me for everything. Both my parents have been lousy grandparents, treating my kids like they did me ..... i've come to the conclusion i've only stayed in their lives this long because they felt it was their duty.

so, in a way i feel they HAVE let my kids down. My mum apologised for the abuse that her lover so kindly bestowed on me as a young kid, but she refuses to believe she was ever a part of it.

sorry this was so long.

Jinny