Jinny, I think its just insecurity within myself that gets triggered. I sort of only trust "tough love" kinda of stance, but saying that my T is gentle and warm in a way I've never experienced before, unyet in my head I feel if she was to show any sign of needing help or assistence herself then I'd feel my "rock" has been taken away. Somehow I still haven't worked through that "needing" is ok, this is my dilema I know...I guess I'd be afraid we'd both end up in a dark room ducking down avoiding whatever scary stuff is going on outside that room? I need to KNOW and SEE that T can survive without anything from me, does that make sense?