This might sound bad. And someone whack me if it bugs them. Maybe there is no point in life for the larger picture. Maybe there's no great wonderful retreat... no karma that gives us good times for good deeds.
Maybe there's no goal.

That could be scary but at the same time it's also refreshing. It means that we are free in life. Maybe the purpose is smaller... to make yourself content in some way. And it's horrible when that's the hardest thing to do. When you can't even make yourself happy. But you've been happy in some way before even if it's hard to remember. Maybe some meal you enjoyed... going out somewhere SOMETHING even if it was a long time ago. And most of the time... there's something you can hold onto.

And the fact that there's no SPECIFIC, defined purpose for everyone... maybe that just allows us to be able to change so that we CAN enjoy life again.

just a random thought. Might even make someone sad, I dunno. Tell me if it does.

I just think we have more ability to change ourselves and our lives than we give ourselves credit.... at least I hope so, because I'm going to try to change for the better as much as I can in the near future.

good luck
i hope all goes well