Hi Purple, I am sorry that you are so distressed. We learn things in childhood that don't apply so much any more when we are adults. Maybe this is one of those things? We can learn in childhood some fears that are really embedded in us. As adults this can get triggered and we have all of that childhood fear upon us full force. What helps you to feel better is to realize that you are an adult now who can protect herself. When we were children we were helpless and didn't really have adult mental capacity when we had to deal with these things. You are a competent and capable adult now. The trick is to convince our minds of this. That fear can be pretty overwhelming.