I really can't tell you how to stop the cycle, I don't have kids myself, but as a kid I was so isolated from the world because I was a sickly kid, that I don't know how to deal with lifes crap. Like you I have to try to trust, and speak up when people do something that has hurt us, or confront the ones talking crap about us. I know it's easier said than done, but this maybe something your counselor can help you with.