I feel so alone and scared. I am trying so hard to be of a good cheer and nature and in a place where no one knows how I really feel. Aw--do not really feel anyone will care enough to read this anyway. But this is a very powerful week for me. I do not usually open up about myself because I do not think anyone really cares.

My life has been a secret thus far for the most part and I feel it still it. Why you may ask--because I have always been told I was not worth anything and I did not belong anywhere. I still feel that by a long ways. I feel in the way everywhere I go. I find it hard as maybe for some you can think someone is your friend until they sometimes seem to forget you. Many others become much more important over you. You begin to close back up again so you are not in the way. The truth of what happened to you is not important . Your pain no longer seems to matter. So you begin to hide away once again and no one knows what you think any more.

You grow yes, but when a time comes of eternal pain that pricks at your heart until it almost pricks you away--and no one notices it hurts. Inside you scream just like you use to and no one hears you and even if they do, they do not hear. I know I am not making any sense right now and I apologize. I am really afraid, and I am sorry. But if anyone out there can care for even a minute please, I could use a hug--please----I am afraid. I am afraid of me and of what is inside. Because none of you really know what I am holding. I am shaking and scared, and maybe I have no right to even ask--but I am holding a very heavy heart that to be honest--it is toooooo much for me.

darkpurplesecretes