I've been there.

I had to hold everything together - even when a part of me wanted to let it all go ... I still tried to keep my family together.

So many abandonments, cheating, lying, deceptions ... even laughing and bad mouthing me
behind my back ...

Those days are over with now. It took a long time to extricate myself - it is difficult when the other person isn't sane more than half the time, or drunk, altered, whatever .

You can see a therapist by yourself and plan your separation, if that is what you deep down need. Or get the professional help to support you while trying to improve the situation.

As you know, if one of you is not okay, the kids suffer.

So, whatever it takes, be the hero - for the kids or the spouse - and seek professional support and guidance for yourself so that you always know what you are doing and why!

That's my best shot - i'm sorry.

It sucks, I do remember all of it.

Peace and comfort to you Dear Person,
nightbird


meanwhile, when possible, treat yourself to the gym, work out, go grab a bite and watch a little tv and get some zzz's when the going gets tuff- the tuff get going, but not without good restful sleep. If it's a problem, tell your medical dr to help.