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MINIME said:
In my case alot of different traumas and many many moves in foster homes,

my brain was "trained" to act and think a certain way. People move to fast and i flinch ect. But its trained in me.

I just think Im tired of being considered mentally ill. Im not ill.

The world is ill and i am just a product of it.

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I agree with you Minime. All of us were "trained" while growing up. Some lucky folks get trained in healthy behaviors. Us unlucky ones got trained in unhealthy behaviors. As an adult I trained myself in healthy behaviors and threw out all my unhealthy ones. Getting to know yourself really well and how you react to your environment is how you do this.

You are also correct when you say that your environment was ill for you and it affected and produced what you have to deal with now. Couldn't agree with you more. The result, however, is that this environment gave you some behaviors which are now making your life difficult and making it hard for you to function. I guess this is what people look at and label as mentally ill. I had all sorts of these and they made my life difficult. I now describe myself as having mental health and look back on myself and describe myself at that time as not having mental health. I never described myself as being mentally ill, though, just that I didn't have mental health.