i wonder about that too... the thoughts of terminating someday scare the bejeebers outta me.. but i know that is a sign that i am just "not there" yet. i DO want self reliance someday... but right now i can't even invision it internally... i mean, i know it is possible - other people do it, but i haven't been able to even picture it for me, i don't know what it feels like.

i happen to believe it is real.. and i know i'll get responses that say it isn't (yadda yadda yadda) and i don't really care. i know what the relationship is (and isn't) between my T and myself. Maybe you can talk to your T about what your relationship is.. how you feel towards her, etc. Every now and then we talk about "us" and it helps a lot. There are many types and levels of caring and many different T's with different manners of practice.. it is possible to have a real therapeutic relationship... and yes, i do know it is a unique one that does not equate to other ones. That is the key to whether it is real or not. He cares about me as me, he said so and that is real enough for me. Does he care? Yes. Does he sometimes think about me outside of session? Yes, he has said so. Is he going to invite me to a BBQ? No. Am I ok with that? For the most part, yes.

Acceptance of the nature of the relationship did a lot for me. It's scary to try to turn our attention to others around us and build healthy relationships. Try not to think in terms of the long term future, think of it as today, tomorrow and maybe next week.

what can you do this week that would be a healthy social activity? Can you call someone to have coffee? Can you attend some social event like a concert, where you can be among people but remain anonymous if you want to be?