Lauren,

I know what you mean about anger! I went through that "negative transference" with my T about five months ago that lasted about three months. I said and did things that I wish I hadn't done, but the anger was so overwhelming. I felt so impulsive and out of control.

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2.5 years later and he has seen some anger but not like last session.

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Interestingly, it took me 2.5 years for my rage to emerge. It's so frustrating.

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The way I'm feeling, T doesn't need to say much that might make me do something stupid like quit, walk out the door and go off on him

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During the three negative months, I took most everything T said in a negative light. I told him that everything that was spoken was somehow traveling down my neural pathways to the trauma center. It was like I COULDN'T hear the positive in things that he said.

I quit once, called the receptionist out of anger, and said, "Cancel ALL of my appointments." Thank goodness my T emailed me and said that my appointments were still open. I "went off on him", but in email form. I wrote some horrible things that I do regret.

I hear you about your time slot and that you think T may be doing something "against" you. ((((Lauren)))) Make sure you bring this up with him so this problem can be solved.

I've written my experience with my anger and my T because I want you to know that you're not alone. I want you to know that your intense emotions arising from your therapeutic relationship can be the most difficult/unnerving experience to navigate! I don't know if this helps, but you will make it through this! My relationship with my T is better now than it was before. Don't fear your anger, let your T know how you feel. I guess, just try to verbalize your intense emotions rather than acting on them (which is what I did). Either way, though, I know you are going to get through this. I'm here for you if you need me. Feel free to PM me. Take care.