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jinnyann said:
please understand i try so hard .... but it aint happenin.


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I do understand jinny..I lived in a bottle for twenty years..I know much about self hate and the lies that breed it.

There were people who loved me until I could love myself. That was hard too, to understand. How could they?

But they did.

And that love included little patience for self hate, pity pots and wishing.

They taught me to love them for their honesty with me,,their tolerance of my failings but intolerance of my pleadings. They taught me that Fear was my greatest enemy and the army of lies that it engages.

They gave me Truth,,, sometimes in tiny morsels and sometimes in giant gulps. They knew somehow what I could accept.

I think what I'm telling you is that I will love you until you will love yourself but sometimes you may not see it as Love.

But it will be...in that,,you can trust.

Love,

Lenny