thanks candika and chaotic, it is helpful to know that i am not alone. chaotic, you do have a lot to offer... even to say that you can relate.. it means a lot
candika, you're right, i guess therapy is a relationship in many ways. depending on how relationship is defined... guess it is not so black and white.. there is some in between...
it's helpful, as you mention, to think of therapy in the short term... not to think of it as whether or not it will be there 5 years from now. because, the reality of things are, we dont know whats even going to happen 5 minutes from now!
i will try to reach out to others this week. i guess it is a start in sharing on this site~