((((( Jinny, Fuzzy )))))

Sorry to keep replying to my thread and prolonging this whining Just got no where else to talk because I sure as hell am not going to drag Kate down with this and half my IRL friends hate me as is. I seem to %#@&#! people off left and right with no intention of doing so, that's one thing I'm good at, making people hate me

Can't even say ha;f of what I want to say because I'll get in trouble but life is just too &^%$ing much. I feel like so often I'm screaming and no one can hear me, no one is listening, or just no one wants to hear.

I should just get the hell over myself and stop being whiny. Thanks for saying I'm someone but how? Kate would be better off without me and I love our kids but they deserve a good father, not me. I failed Vlad anyways, he's gone, I deserve all the pain I'm getting right now.

I should log out and go crawl under my covers and just shut up. My eye hurts so %#@&#! bad my body hurts my arm feels like it's on fire. Go to hospital, everyone says it, but I can't, I have to be strong. I have to stay at home. I'm a great big mess, swollen and in such bad pain. Breathing is a chore I just need to talk and I need to be heard sometimes. Faking that I'm "fine" gets to %#@&#! tiring because I'm not fine. I want something but IDK what.