Your interest in this matter is highly appreciated FT!!
Wow, those are a lot of questions!!.. ok: i havent talked to anyone yet..(one moment im totally determinate to do it and the next one.. i decide to not do it.. and later.. i dont know, so i focus in dont doing nothing til im totally sure..)_ Yes, my college dont have a counseling center._ No, that nurse is a bitter b#$%h, but i've been doing reserch about it.. sadly i havent found.. nothing "reachable".. for me.._
Dont worry FT!! i know that i need proffessional psychiatric help, and .. my biggest wish right now is to find one.. _
Not eating makes me happy cuz... im not gaining wait = non body fat = no boobs!! _yes.. im a perfectionist and i found so many years ago, that being this thin.. having this kind of body .. would make me happy, because thats the way i feel inside of me (the way i see me, in my mind), and i want it to be reflected externaly.. Dont think i want social approval.. i defend my way of thinking strongly.. so i dont care about being understood.. its useless.. But this does not mean that i wouldnt like acceptance.. from my family.. and friends.. though theres no need to... Get it? (i know isnt normal, is.. weird).. _I wont love myself until i reach 'my' perfection.. i love to hate, i guess.. gives me something to do, LHO!.
Yep.. Its frustrating, confusing.. AWFUL!!
I have some (..a few) friends. They are the coolest thing, they totally accept all my freaky stuff.. Theres a chance i may ..talk to them.. i'll risk (if i dont chinken out).. or.. theres my philosophy teacher.. that.. might help (i mean, hes a proffessional.. must know something..)
regards, marcelodlanod