i hope things improve for you aries... you are not a weirdo.. reading about your conditions will help a lot i think... is there a library nearby? sometimes i read here at PC to get an idea about my own feelings cause others can express it better than i can right now... are there local groups you can join? i imagine there are others in your area also struggling.. anyone outside the system but in human services who might be able to help? sometimes there are human service groups we havent yet discovered..