ok... i didn't even read the replies to this... i skipped straight to the end.... so i'll go back and read this all after my post.... (it'll be like the prize at the bottom of the cereal box)

yup... heard it..... lots.... too often maybe.

personally after many different experiences in life i am to the point that i want to be comfortable. by that i mean this - i really want some peace and quiet, i want to be with someone i love who loves me back and isn't afraid to show it, i care less about other people's opinions and things that steal your attention away from the more important aspects of life.

overall i think i have just calmed down - in a sense.

now about the sensitive thing...... i dated a girl once, we were madly in love and young. we went to a beach once on the 4th of july and we were sitting about 25 feet behind an elderly couple holding hands and leaning towards each other. we both decided then and there that we each wanted to be old just like them. that image to this day is in my mind fresher than this cup od coffee i now hold in my hand.

of course, i am not with the girl anymore :P

my wife thinks i am 'the most sensitive man she has ever met.' maybe this is saying too much - BUT - i wash her hair, and she's out of the tub before you can say hot potato. no reciprication. I tell her i love her and i get 'do you really' in return. i have yet to HEAR her tell it to me, but at least i get it in text messages.

i've asked her about these things and in return she replies 'so you want me to treat you like a little girl?'

although i know that its the BPD talking (see previous threads through my profile) and i'm really not asking too much, my brain really does a quick inventory of my requests. it's almost as if i really do take into consideration that maybe i am in fact asking more than it is possible to recieve.

like they say, past history is a true predictor of future events, and my personal past history with family isn't the greatest for comparing and contrasting the likeness of stable relationships (my mother being a full blown alcoholic and my father being involved with drugs).

its taken me YEARS of just contemplation and forgiveness to get to the point now that i can just let things (mostly) run off me like water off a ducks back. through all of that, i gained a perspective about life that really does help me evaluate the REALLY important things vs. the not.

1) is what i am thinking about really worth my efforts and/or time.

2) is the effort i am investing into the task for myself or for someone else? are those efforts for other people worthy of my time? is it conterproductive?

3) does the end justify the means - in saying that - will the end product or result add to my frustrations or accomplishments

there's nothing wrong with expression of emotion. if you feel that you are more often than not feeling frustrated/sad/angry/annoyed then the possibility of counseling my need to be considered.

stuffing your emotions also warrants the above assessment, as well as an eventual stomach ulcer.

Sensitivity? pffftthhh.... you can still be a tough guy but have the ability to shed a tear........ i've seen it done.... and whats better is that the girls dig it.... .