I lost most of yesterday. I remember getting ready to go to sleep monday night, then the next thing I know I was outside argueing with myself. ( Sometimes I'll start telling out loud and not realize it. Makes me look really nutz. ) It was around 4 in the afternoon and I had been out god knows where doing god knows what. Seems like it's happening more and more often. I've lost complete control over anything. I don't know if I worked or not yesterday. I was suppose to be out seeing client's. But I don't know if I did that or not. I don't know if I was out spending money or doing drugs. I didn't find any si anywhere on the body. I don't want to go back to the hospital. I have to be stronger. I can't let this happen again. Just tired.