Hi! Haven't been here in a while as my psyche put me in hospital program on 8/5. I just got out today. I was really scared as this was a first for me and I had no idea what to expect. Very withdrawn at first, felt embarrassed and humiliated. I know he and my therapist are only doing what they feel is best for me and I can accept that now. I did learn a lot more was going on with me than the SI as I was passive suicidal, really depressed with no feeling of self worth or self esteem, and I just didn't care anymore. I am on two new meds in addition to the ones I was on and so far I am tolerating them well and they seem to be helping. I am to soon start an out-patient program to be gradually weaned off of as I get more structure in my life and keep on with my recovery program. I was able to learn many things from the hospital program--new coping strategies to try, developed a safety plan, and cemented a treatment/support team. I have been SI free for four days now - I know this doesn't seem like much, but I was doing much damage nearly every day with most anything being a trigger. I am aware of the chances for relapses and both my doc and therapist have cautioned me of this possibility. At least this is a start and I now know I have a support team of family, friends, and physisians who are there for me and understand. Thanks so much to those of you who responded to my first posting as I really needed the support and still do now more than ever as I try to regain some control and stability in my life.