Got out of the hospital for around the 16th time in 2.5 years. I'm so tired of it happening out of the blue especially since I've been doing so well lately. It's disappointing. I don't mind the meds, I know that they work. But just when I thought I was in the clear and almost happy, the recurrent part of the depression crashes my party. I know that I'll be taking meds for the rest of my life. But it's so frustrating to know that even if I do everything "right" to ward it off, it will come again and again. I can't sleep and I'm tired of this feeling.