I hesitate to post this, because from what you write I think you probably understand this already, and I don't know that what I write will help you in any way...

I think the way your son reacts is similar to some feelings I have: when one is frustrated and NOTHING WORKS then the tendency, at least for a child, is just to act out or go "crazy" -- the inner tension is too great to do anything else. The only amelioration is to find some way to lessen the terrible tension, and learn over time techniques that work to do that...

I can see a similar thing in one of my cats. She is active and highly intelligent, and sometimes when I do not pay her enough attention, she starts to race around and claw things (sometimes me) that I do not want her to claw! The connection is so obvious, but she has no way to understand what is happening so she just acts it out. I do love her. So -- it is something that can be common to intelligent beings of many kinds, not just humans!