Hi DN, I read your reply on the sensitivity thread and was intrigued enough to search out your other posts. It sounds like you are looking for answers so I will give you my 2 cents. What is my impression of you and what is going on?

You said that your parents were substance abusers so you probably grew up meeting their needs and they never saw any of your needs because of all of their overwhelming issues (my mom gave me the same upbringing for different reasons). You now are "trained" to meet the needs of others and still have never realized that you have any needs or that you have permission to meet them. You are a nurse now (many codependents in this field - I hope you don't take offense at that term) and you also married someone who seems very self-centered who you also care for and continue to deny your own needs.

You seem like a really nice guy who deserves much better. You can finally see what is really going on here and take steps to finally take care of yourself and allow all the adults in your life to also take responsibility and take care of themselves.