I used to be so pro-therapy, now I am scared to go and can't even recommend it confidently to my friends or children. I have so much bad to say about it but I think I still need it because I am lonely and have no family. I've had several abusive relationships, and friends that have let me down considerably .

I need a therapist that understands the issues brought up in articles on Psyche Central that pertain to the client as a consumer. I thought I was worse than I was. My therapists were making me feel badly for not staying with them, and now after reading these articles, I am so relieved!!! It was such a heavy load having relationship problems, and then having relationship problems with every therapist I felt so much guilt and fear.

Now I am quite a bit happier, but I still have the same dilema. How do I find someone to talk to? And preferably not just someone to talk to, but a real good someone. Someone who really can get me out of therapy and into a great life. Or someone who I would benefit from ongoing therapy with.

In the past, my best therapists lasted 2 1/2 years, and was great, but we hit a wall. Very important issues she would respond by saying "sometimes their is nothing you can do" when she should have given me communication skills for my teens or challenged me to grow in my business or take risks with my social circle.

My worst therapists have been dysfunctional, condescending and patronizing, and the ones I have known in my social circle through friends and business, leave much to be desired. Some have drug problems, serious relationship problems and I was even stalked by a Phd in Psychotherapy. The police called it Aggravated Harassment. These are all doctors, and some well respected in the industry, highly regarded people.

I get the feeling, when I am in therapy, that they don't know what my problem is specifically, but that they HOPE by me talking about my mother, that somehow the solution will emerge. Well, it's been about 20 yrs now, done tons of work on my childhood and my mother. I need to move forward. But no one will listen to me. And it's costing me a bunch of money. My last therapist was a Phd. and $200 for 45 min, or $400 a week!

As a consumer, I feel 20 yrs, all over the country with therapists, is plenty to give anything a chance. This isn't supposed to be a cult and I think that too much goes on behind closed doors. I don't mean in the sexual way, but in the mind games department. Patronizing, condescending, staring games, manipulation, you name it. Shouldn't this sort of business be monitored somehow? How about a review section by consumers like Amazon. It's a pretty important purchase I'd say.

I'm not even sure what the problem is with relationships, all they have said is I'm overwhelmed, haven't met the right people, and I didn't learn some very important skills as a child from my mother. Yet no one will tell me what those skills are.

I am to the point that the healthiest thing seems to be not going at all. I really need someone to talk to, I'm in NYC. Any suggestions? I would really be appreciative.