I just had this thought, maybe based on what you wrote, chaotic, about not being able to handle if your H were to go see your T. It sounds like maybe there is a little jealousy there, or a desire for exclusivity, or possessiveness (all of which I think are very natural responses).

It made me wonder how a therapist feels sending his client off to another therapist? I will still be seeing my own therapist at the same time I go see this new family therapist, sometimes on my own, sometimes with daughter. I wonder how my T feels about that? He probably feels nothing, or just is glad I am getting the help I need. But for a moment, I did feel like maybe he wouldn't like knowing I was sharing intimate details of my life with another T. Is it at all related that he first suggested about five different female family therapists for me and only suggested this one male when I pressed him for someone with significant expertise with adolescents and also closer to my part of town? LOL. I'm sure it's not related. But I am having a little bit of fun thinking that maybe it might be. (I actually would prefer a female for the mother-daughter therapy, but it's hard to find everything you think you want in a T, and he has all the other things on my list.)