Gary,

I asked you a question above that you did not answer, so I will try a slightly different tack...

I've been trying to avoid the whole question of whether looks matter or not because I think it doesn't have a yes or no answer. I can understand why it's difficult for you to accept the assertion that looks don't matter because it's completely untrue. Looks *DO* matter. I don't know what part of Florida you live in, but I know that in certain places, looks matter more than in others. I have a friend in LA who has a terrible time meeting women, because LA is a fairly looks-oriented city, and worse yet, he's in the music business, which is even more looks oriented.

So there you have it...validation...the fact that you do not look like Antonio Banderas means that you might have a harder time meeting women.

BUT... (you knew there would be a but, didn't you? )

I don't think you can possibly argue that you are so hideous looking that no woman in the whole world would give you a chance. Heck, I've dated men worse looking than you.

So...here's the challenge. Can you accept that perhaps the reason you have not had a relationship with a women is more complex than just "I'm ugly?" And are you willing to put the "I'm ugly" argument on the back burner long enough to explore those other reasons, and determine if there's something you can change about them?

Attraction between men and women is a very complex thing. Certainly physical appearance is part of the mix, but so are self-confidence, conversational ability, humor, charm, empathy, intelligence, and I'm sure quite a number of other things as well. If you put everything on appearance, you are giving yourself an easy way out, a way to not have to think about any of those other factors.

Now, I'm not going to ask you to believe what people are saying, that if you develop your self-esteem, you will be more attractive to women. I believe that, but I can't prove it. BUT...if you work on developing your self-esteem, you will be happier, with or without someone else. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you are always in the company of yourself. Why not try to appreciate that contant companion a little bit more?

*hugs*
Jo