(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Miss C )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Self-care is a tough one for me. Really tough.

Sometimes, SOMETIMES, after a session with T, I can take the caring he has shown me, and go home and keep showing it to myself a little bit. I feel very young in T, so when I come home, sometimes I can take care of "little me". I will color mandalas, or lay down and read a book for fun, or go for a little walk outside. Basically, I just ask "little me" what she wants and I try to give it to her.

There are all sorts of repercussions for this. The rest of me doesn't feel "deserving" of that kind of care, and I often respond to this kind of care with some other really negative behaviors. This is something I need to work on.

I think when no one has taken care of us, it's hard for us to know how to take care of ourselves. I feel like T is teaching me, a little bit, but it's a hard lesson to learn.