I am soooooo tired of constantly fighting, reminding, and telling myself that it's "just the depression" and having to force myself to do every single little thing.

These meds aren't working. Everyone here says to give them time. The counselor said it's clear they aren't doing anything. She hasn't told me to stop taking them. I still have a week or 2 until I see my doc for a check up. My counselor is setting it up so i can see a shrink but that won't be for another 3 or so weeks.

This is just so exhausting. I force myself to go out and do things. I do'nt want to anymore. I have to force myself to do the things I like doing. And, even that isn't much fun or an escape.

I keep telling myself things will get better...and they don't. Things keep getting worse. Each time I think I can't possibly get any lower, things have to get better, something proves me wrong.

I feel as if i'm walking a thin line between sanity and insanity. And i just want it all to stop.