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MissCharlotte said:
He wants me to react based on what I feel in my body rather than what I think in my head.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I believe that realizing and acknowledging my feelings is key for me too, as my typical way of reacting to something is to feel something and immediately stuff it away, even before I have known I felt it. Thus, I can appear unmoved by events many would get angry or sad at. There may have been a fleeting moment I felt something, but I am so efficient at "stuffing" that it was as if I felt nothing. I am really trying to work on this. (And it's probably why CBT is not a good fit for me, as it emphasizes fixing thought patterns, whereas I need help with unearthing and allowing myself to have feelings.)

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earthmama said:
SOMETIMES, after a session with T, I can take the caring he has shown me, and go home and keep showing it to myself a little bit

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">One thing my T does in session is to acknowledge my feelings. I may feel something but not really know it or want to own up to it, and T just says, "sunny is feeling sad right now" or something like that. It can be very powerful and feel very caring. I saw this in action when I brought my whole family to therapy with me, and my youngest daughter, who is normally very reserved and very withdrawn and has a "hard" and protective exterior, sat on the couch with me and quietly began to cry as T talked. T scarcely missed a beat, and just said, "right now daughter is feeling sad" and wove that into his preamble. It was VERY powerful. I could not believe what a reaction he got from my daughter and how almost immediately she felt safe enough to cry in his office. (I think my T is kind of magic that way.) I have taken this technique T uses of acknowledging someone's feelings by naming them and used it since with others a few times, always with good results. How this relates to what you wrote, earthmama, is that a while ago I had to say a "good-bye" to a small thing in my life and had a small emotional response of sad and poignant feelings. When these feelings came over me, I did not stuff them! I allowed myself to feel them and talked to myself inside, just like T would talk to me. I said, "sunny is feeling sad right now, and poignant, this "thing" has been so helpful, it is hard to say good-bye. Good-bye." And I think I even cried a tear or two. I didn't push the tears away. I just let myself feel this, and then it was over. It was not hard! I didn't stuff it. I didn't have to expend energy stuffing my feelings and then more energy maintaining that state of keeping my feelings all locked up. It was a little instance, not really a big deal, but oh so powerful to realize with just a little "self-therapy" like my T would provide, I could successfully feel something and not hide away. This to me is taking my therapy and my therapist home with me. It felt like he was there with me as I did this. It was cool.