chaotic... i agree about wanting to keep going when you hit that groove, and the groove doesn't happen every session. i am fortunate enough that when we do hit it and there isn't someone waiting, T goes over time by quite a lot (like an hour and a half total sometimes). i think a lot about what we talk about for sure, but i don't feel like the relationship is only real for that one hour. Maybe that is part of developing that deeper trust? i know you struggle(d) with opening up and trusting.. maybe it still has room to deepen? i do wish i could see T more, i wish we could be friends, but i understand the limitations.. and i feel the relationship is still there and real even when i cannot see him. i know he would be there for me if i was in crisis.. i know he is there. It's harder when he is away, physically not around.