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sunrise said:

Within this one session, was rupture and repair. It was hard, but it ended well. You went from bad to good, which is a great direction to go in! I love how your T kept trying different things to help you. Until finally something worked. He's really resourceful and did not give up on you. I can tell he cares about you a lot.


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Thanks for reframing this for me, sunrise

I guess I was disappointed to not be present for so much of the session. I love my sessions with T, and it felt like a huge waste to sit there, totally dissociated and panicking for almost the whole session. I literally felt like I wasn't even THERE, and he wasn't even T. BUT, you're right, T worked hard to bring me back into the room and reconnect with me before I left - and after sessionhe left a phone message for me saying that the session was fine - that we did good work together finding a way to connect, and that even though it might feel scary to come to my next session on Monday, it will be okay.

Sigh. I feel awfully exposed and vulnerable right now.