Pink, sounds like you have discovered couples therapy isn't easy or fun. It's hard, but the rewards can be great--a stronger marriage. It sounds like your H is very much on board with therapy and working to make things better. This is FANTASTIC!

You have only had a couple of sessions, so it's no wonder you aren't completely safe yet. You will have to build trust, just like you did in individual therapy. It is extra hard because there are 3 of you there. My T said to me when I began couples therapy, that there are 3 clients in the room, the husband, the wife, and the marriage, and he has to take care of and attend to all 3. So when it seems like your H is the center of attention for a moment, just sit back and wait. You will have a chance to express yourself and ask for what you need. If you are dissociating, you can ask the T for help staying present. I dissociated sometimes in couples therapy as it was just too painful, and when T figured it out, he would take special care to bring me back by checking in with me more frequently, making eye contact, asking how I was doing, etc.

It's OK for you to be a different way with your T than with your H and the new T together. It's a different dynamic and needn't be the same. You can still have the "your way" that you are missing when you are in individual therapy.

Hang in there with this. It will be worth it.