dear (((((swmchic)))))
Is there an adult IRL you can talk to? I know you are scared but if you can talk to someone they can help you figure out what to do. Do you have anyone you can trust - a school counselor, an aunt or uncle, a family friend, someone at church, etc....

You should tell someone what you are doing so they can help you deal with it and get better. It is scary but you need some support right now.
take care,
ktgirl