I've been struggling over the past few weeks...my old T felt like I should be in a hospital, but I haven't been in one now for almost 10yrs.

The more I'm thinking about it and time is passing deep down I know I should probably be in one. My big problem was my son (he's 11). I don't want to let my ex know that I'm going there. He takes him 2x a week and every other weekend. I'm close w/my family, but they don't know what's going on really.

If I had to I guess I would go to them. It would be extremely hard, but I was getting to that point.

Yesterday, I found a great program in ny that is new and is specifically for my type of problem. I called the insurance company and they are not a participant. Here is the kicker though. They will cover 50%.

I was like huh. I was under this false assumption that I would be covered in network 100% for so many days and out of network 80%. No it's 50% out of network and 80% in network.

The man on the phone was very nice and he could tell in my voice I needed to get off the phone very quickly. I thanked him. He asked me if I was ok....said yes...thanks again.

i feel devasted. I can't even afford help.

I can't even tell you how badly I was feeling before all this and now this... I don't know

Just don't know what I'm going to do....