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I think a letter might not be a bad idea -- though there is no way you (Jinny) can be sure how that would be received. But you can control what you do only. If it makes you feel better it might be good to do it regardless of what other people do.
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Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
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