(((((JOHN)))))

I just came across this thread and knew I had to reply. I am sorry your feeling this way. I too feel this way very often. I used to consider myself an **** over-acheiver. I was on top of everything (or so I thouht). I was in control (or so I thought). Until one day when it all came crashing down around me. It was like an avalanche...literally.
I suddendly found myself a scared, fragile, little girl. For the first time in my life i had to depend on others to help me because I completely broke down. I was told that medication would help with my depression and anxiety. I was very reluctant because in my mind I didnt need them, but I knew that I couldnt go on like that. I finally gave in. Thank GOD I did. I finalyy feel like me again, but better. I still am the same person i used to be. i have my ups and downs but I'm less stresses then i used to be. I can finally see whats important and whats not. The thing is, before my breakdown, I never took time for myself. That is something I try to do now. I'm not saying that you should take meds. I am only saying to keep that option open and please do not think bad of yourself if you do.
We all need help, we all need to lean on someone sometime. You can't be in control of it all. That was the biggest lesson for me. I guess I'm still learning that though.
I wish you all the best. Please keep me posted on how you are doing. Good luck.